Diabetes has turned my life upside-down...

To be honest, I would never admit being a 'superwoman' even though there seem to be a lot which I have accomplished so far up to this point of my life. Take a quick scan of my CV and you know what I mean. It is just my personality doing the magic; the fact that I am extremely result-oriented, a go-getter, and the fact that my interests have gone amok over the span of the last 20 odd years and creating / producing something is necessary to justify my diversity of interests and hobbies.

Turning 46 wasn't the end of the world until I got diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes last week. The symptoms which I have been experiencing associated with the ailment, not to mention the costs to see an endocrinologist and a dietitian, as well as the insulin shots and oral med, have all turned my otherwise productive days into an absolute nightmare. For someone who doesn't enjoy spending time in the kitchen, I am now racking my brain to come up with a weekly menu to control the glucose and blood pressure. And I am only 46.

Well, I just have to accept that my body is letting me down. I have to accept that I have aged; and along with it there are unprecedented problems and concerns only associated to geriatrics in the past. My cousin died of cancer a few years back and she was my age. Life can be snuffed into non-existence without reasons. The machine is rusting and it is just a matter of time when it stops functioning altogether.I will survive unless I don't. I like to think of my body, the flesh, a vessel through which to move through this so called life. It is a tool not dissimilar to a saw and screwdrivers, a hammer and nuts and bolts, and therefore I don't spend too much time worrying about it. I am not my body!

The diagnosis is hard to swallow and the severe headache from a sudden change of body chemistry is not helping either. Going on a new diet and therefore a new lifestyle isn't easy and so too, is being an individual of fashion. If you get stressed out to have a sense of style, don't do it. Being diabetic has made me stop and realise that I have my limits. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and carry on 'living'; whichever the word means.