Forever YOUNG...who are you kidding?

There are those who would never get caught outside without make up on, and there are those who go even further by visiting the surgery religiously, and I must say I respect these women who prefer to impress others at a cost not to be underestimated. I too used to make my face pretty in my 20s with expensive make-up but I swapped my cosmetics to skin care products in my third year at university. I just couldn't be bothered with the fuss as I was already pretty at the time and never once did it occur to me that I need to alter my features or body parts as a grown woman. I can't see the reason to go under the knife no matter what.

Now that I am nearly 50, living in an era when our culture is still obsessed with youth, busyness / activities and productivity as long as one lives, I find myself caught in a dilemma when I can't bear looking into the mirror only to see a stranger looking back at me, with scars and flaws all over my aged face / body. After much contemplation, I decided I don't want to go back to that stage when the world was my oyster and compliments of my look were a daily thing. It is ridiculous to act as if I were still young losing my dignity in the process. I am no longer the same person with the same desires at 47 as I were at 24. Life has never been an easy ride so why would I want history to repeat itself?

The concept and reality of mortality has never been far from my consciousness since my cousin passed away destroyed by cancer a decade ago. She was my age when she left the world. There are deaths caused by accidents, suicide, illnesses, old age, etc  but whatever the reason, it is something which comes with the birth package and no-one can return the parcel. We are not meant to live forever. I am now less interested in material things and find the minimalist lifestyle indeed appealing. There are people who are suffering from depression, despair, fear of death and regret, under the spell of denying / concealing what aging does to them and having a hard time getting over / accepting it. I for one might be holding on too tightly to what I used to be and thinking the way I used to think. 

How can we make the process of aging a positive experience? Could it be a time of progressive refinement of what matters? Instead of spending our little energy, time ans money buying into beauty advertisements which promise life prolongment, maybe it is wiser to be true to life and ourselves, How about choosing to spend the rest of the remaining years doing something meaningful, and sustainable? I certainly don't want to cling onto some pain and unfulfillment  on my deathbed. Who am I fooling thinking I could maintain my appearance and avoid death? And I honestly hate to say I wish for a longer life when my life is all about surviving, working my rear off and paying bills, 

A friend I haven't seen for a while bumped into me the other day and asked me how I was. The words 'same shit, different day' came straight out of my mouth without a second thought. I am living a life of desperation and routine, breathing just because my heart is still beating before it fails me. Yes, I am writing this blog for you readers and myself, reminding mortals that aging is a developmental stage (according to Carl Jung) as we move further into individuation. Our psychological awareness is evolving with time and I am working on breaking out of the rut where I am comfortably numb, and get a life, for real.