I have just moved back home from an office space I had for 9 months. This is not easy for someone who crave space and dedicate with all her heart to the work she enjoys, clearly demarcated by the commute and work hours she sets for herself. After all, being cramped in a shoebox with the screens on 24/7 ain't no life to live! Working from home could be a blessing to some but it doesn't seem to work for my wellbeing.
I will be wearing my PJs all day glued in front of my computer. I'd be stocking up on comfy pyjamas and lounge wear as I no longer have to look presentable as I did before. Not bothering about personal appearance could be a problem as wearing low-esteem clothes day in day out could be downright depressing.Why would I dress up just to get a caffeine fix at Starbucks when I can do it at home with my dripper? I need to find a reason to get out of the house to get dressed more decently.
Sharing a tiny flat with someone with whom you don't get along is an added burden and stress. I am literally living out of my bedroom with little space for any kinds of movement. I use the bathroom late at night and I cook when the kitchen is freed. The weather in Hong Kong is not helping either as I am constantly soaking in sweat even after having a cold shower. I don't turn on the air conditioner until bedtime so I am working in a sauna room and this is only May...
The business as a start up ain't going anywhere. Maybe I should just give up and retire! I am 48 so ceasing to work by definition is probably a bit too early to consider but I can still retire, in a sense that means withdrawing to or from a particular place. My body is slowly breaking down so the idea of not going or doing is enticing. However, having born a life-long learner, I can't possibly withdraw from learning, creating and sharing. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life not filling my time with meaning and fulfilment of sorts.
It has been 2.5 years since I became a qualified Personal Stylist, worked my arse off to get my business off the ground but in vain. Despite not having an income, I am not going to give this up after spending so much time, effort and money on my chosen field but I might go on a vacation for a while before coming back to it. I do believe in what I do and that there is a market for my knowledge and skills; it's just a matter of running my business in a different way and with a mind refreshed and cleared, I do expect a different result when I return from my much needed break away from this concrete hell of a city.
I need to breathe...
Are you oxygen-deprived too?
No comments:
Post a Comment