Making a BOLD statement after 40

Who is on the cover of fashion magazines? Jenner, Kloss, Hadid, Depp, etc...young women and even children are the IT models wearing designer labels on hanger bods. Why do we real women especially those over 40 succumb to a false life depicted by these waif mannequins which don't exist in real life if not for airbrushing and photoshopping? Craving to be just like them is just so vain and wishful thinking, ensued inevitably by sadness and depression knowing their waist line won't budge and a trip to Korea for plastic surgery is imminent?

Wherever you look, being young is constantly declared to be the ultimate goal of every beauty product on the shelf. I can't help but wonder id there is anything more realistic on TV targeting real women with real age? What is the point of advertising if not to a target audience who is comprised of over 45 women who have the spending power on beauty and fashion? What are they thinking when they make us invisible?

Things are changing recently albeit slowly. Older people are real women and they don't simply disappear off the radar when they turn 40! I start seeing fashion designers and bloggers celebrating mature women on catwalks, billboards, advertising commercials and talk shows, to name a few. We are encouraged to embrace ageing and see the beauty in it with evidences.

Julia Roberts, 49, 'the world's most beautiful woman' by People Magazine

Lauren Hutton, 73, modelling for Bottega Venetta and Calvin Klein front and centre

Gillean McLeod, 60, modelled for H&M

Lyn Slater, 63, campaigned for Mango 'A story of Uniqueness'

Amber Valletta, 43, on the cover of British Vogue

Jan de Villeneuve, 70


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Frances Dunscombe, 84, celebrating modern femininity

Maye Musk, 69, a model for 50 years

Yasmin le Bon, 52, the face of Winser London

Carol Middleton, 61, mother of the Duchess of Cambridge

Debbie Harry, 71, Diva of the Smoky Eye

Brigitte Macron, 64, First Lady of France

It is so refreshing to see older faces celebrating their maturity and sharing their love of fashion and style. I hope this is not just a passing fad as we older women are for life, not just for this season's marketing. Don't we all want to look healthy, stylish, modern and relevant? 

Amen.

Your closet reflects who you are! Make it exclusively YOURS!

My last few days were spent unpacking the boxes from my office and took inventory of the stock I have for my online boutique (https://carousell.com/rosayourpersonalstylist/). As I went through every single piece of clothing items, I asked myself why I bought them in the first place, what exactly drew me to acquire that piece to sell to my clients. I reflected on why I didn't own it but rather to sell it online. When I revamped my wardrobe, I was fully aware of all the whys as I learned more about myself through my choice of what I keep in my closet. 

I find myself having quite a few striped tops, a lot of white and some black, which ain't on my colour swatch at all! Being a true autumn, black and pure white are definitely not my cup of tea but then again, I do get compliments whenever I wear them. Could it be the style of the garments which is flattering or was it a wrong colour analysis to begin with? I doubt the latter to be frank but I do believe it is okay to wear a colour which is not my season and yet looking great! Apart from accessorising, how I feel on the day does matter and what I want to send out to the world through my selection of outfits definitely counts! 

Here are some of the questions you might like to ask yourself before walking out the door:

• Who are you when you wear it?
• Why do you choose that particular outfit?
• Do you like how you feel wearing it? What is the purpose of wearing it?

I would only put on something that fits, which flatters my body and complexion. I would never wear something dated (unless I want to make a statement with vintage) or blindly follow the trend. What I pick has to be appropriate for the occasion while looking decent. 

Others may wear something to hide some body parts which they feel embarrassed about. Then some people would choose to wear something that demands attention and authority, to reinforce their social status and showcasing how well-off they are with the limited editions and designer labels. Some women make an effort to look sexy in the hope of attracting a male prospect if they are desperate. And of course there are others who prefer to stay in the background, wearing 'uniforms' day in day out to prevent decision fatigue. All of which are valid reasons I can dispute.

There are other factors which determine how we dress ourselves. We are all affected by the way we were brought up somehow. The way our parents dress themselves, the criticisms we received in the past, the budget we have for vanity shopping, how we feel about our body and appearance right now (and ageing has a lot to do with our decision making process). The list is endless.

Now that I can see what I actually possess in my current wardrobe, I would love to get the most out of what is hanging in there. Try asking yourself the following next time you get dressed:

• Do I feel great in this outfit?
• Does it reflect who I am today?
• Does it incorporate my style personality?
• Does my choice help getting my message across?
• Do I feel confident wearing it?

I can totally understand how you feel overwhelmed by your full closet. I had been there and I can help if you let me. Clothing is an extension of who we are. We tell the world everything about our lives with what we put on on a particular day. What does the clothing in your closet say about you? What you wear is how you respond to yourself on a subconscious level. Make your wardrobe your personal boutique with only items that represent you and that you love every single piece that you keep. You will have yourself to thank for.

I am available for wardrobe management consultation if you do reach out. Drop me an email to wellbeing@netvigator.com to further discuss how I could be of help!

another transition...life without an office space

I have just moved back home from an office space I had for 9 months. This is not easy for someone who crave space and dedicate with all her heart to the work she enjoys, clearly demarcated by the commute and work hours she sets for herself. After all, being cramped in a shoebox with the screens on 24/7 ain't no life to live! Working from home could be a blessing to some but it doesn't seem to work for my wellbeing.

I will be wearing my PJs all day glued in front of my computer. I'd be stocking up on comfy pyjamas and lounge wear as I no longer have to look presentable as I did before.  Not bothering about personal appearance could be a problem as wearing low-esteem clothes day in day out could be downright depressing.Why would I dress up just to get a caffeine fix at Starbucks when I can do it at home with my dripper? I need to find a reason to get out of the house to get dressed more decently. 

Sharing a tiny flat with someone with whom you don't get along is an added burden and stress. I am literally living out of my bedroom with little space for any kinds of movement. I use the bathroom late at night and I cook when the kitchen is freed. The weather in Hong Kong is not helping either as I am constantly soaking in sweat even after having a cold shower. I don't turn on the air conditioner until bedtime so I am working in a sauna room and this is only May...

The business as a start up ain't going anywhere. Maybe I should just give up and retire! I am 48 so ceasing to work by definition is probably a bit too early to consider but I can still retire, in a sense that means withdrawing to or from a particular place. My body is slowly breaking down so the idea of not going or doing is enticing. However, having born a life-long learner, I can't possibly withdraw from learning, creating and sharing. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life not filling my time with meaning and fulfilment of sorts.

It has been 2.5 years since I became a qualified Personal Stylist, worked my arse off to get my business off the ground but in vain. Despite not having an income, I am not going to give this up after spending so much time, effort and money on my chosen field but I might go on a vacation for a while before coming back to it. I do believe in what I do and that there is a market for my knowledge and skills; it's just a matter of running my business in a different way and with a mind refreshed and cleared, I do expect a different result when I return from my much needed break away from this concrete hell of a city.

I need to breathe...

Are you oxygen-deprived too?

Body Issues Anyone?

Most women I know are bound to have some sort of body shaming issues, a negative body image which may take a lifetime to banish, if at all. Thanks to the social media and advertising which are now part of everyday life which were unprecedented only a couple of decades ago, we are now constantly exposed to something 'prettier', and the message that there is always something to change, to modify, as if we are not good enough as we are for some inexplicable reasons. I came across the poem written by Olvia Giorgia Warren who succinctly addressed the body confidence issues in such a profound manner.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/actor-olivia-giorgia-warren-pens-poem-about-body-image-and-embracing-the-squish_uk_58f63496e4b0da2ff86387aa



We were born with unique physical features which make us an individual and not clones in the first place so isn't it only wise to love what we were endowed with and maybe even see it a challenge the way we present ourselves with externalities such as clothes and styles? I would prefer to focus my effort and time on something else more important than a spare tire and flabby arms.



Kate Winslet was being called a 'blubber' at school. Lady Gaga was remarked with cruelty about her stomach. Serena Williams was titled 'built like a man'.Jennifer Aniston was rumoured to be pregnant. Vogue Williams was told that she was fat. Amy Schumer was dubbed 'chubby'. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these gorgeous women and they are proud of who they are apologetically. 



There are mainly 2 types of people when it comes to personal style. Some may go to extremes to blend in or stand out, while trying to feel our best. Which category do you fall into? Are you dressing for someone's approval or are you dressing to please yourself? I can understand the need to belong especially when you were a teenager and yet wanting to be unique. 

"Fashion says 'me too'. Style says 'only me'"





I for one would never want to sabotage my 'style' or follow the herd. I like to be noticed especially now that I am an entrepreneur struggling a start-up business. Being 'flawed' as I am, there are a few things which I take time to improve on my general appearance:

• highlight my body strengths and create a silhouette according to my body shape

• use texture and patterns to accentuate my good bits

• combine neutrals and accent colours and accessorise a lot

• have a great highlight and trim on a regular basis

I don't plan for my outfit the night before as most women do. What I pick very much depends on my mood , the weather, and what I am doing on any particular day. Thank god I have a closet full of clothes that I LOVE. I don't care what others think of me if I am wearing orange. I am not an office person or a mom so I can wear whatever I fancy on any day as opposed to keeping up a certain lifestyle which is already history. Never succumb to fashion trends, I know exactly what suits and what not and hence develop my own signature style I am proud of. Having diabetes and truncal obesity from long term medication, I probably have more weight and body issues than most people but could never cover myself in a sack. Instead I learned and trained to be a personal stylist for myself and as a way to help other women who are in the same boat. I suppose attitude and beliefs are major culprits to why we dress to be something or someone we are not. 

A Postscript to the Fashion Revolution Week

I don't usually write about sustainable fashion in my blog as I have my newsletter 'sustainably chic' dedicated to subjects as such but as a tribute to the Fashion Revolution Week (www.fashionrevolution.org), which doesn't really end as long as you believe in the vision of the global movement and participate in taking actions by starting to ask your brand / retailer the one basic question: Who made my clothes? (alongside with Where is it from?)

Among the tragedies and catastrophes which are happening every other second, the Tazreen fire and the Rana Plaza disaster were nothing short of catching the attention of conscious consumers who love fashion. Fast fashion has put profit and convenience over ethics and humanity. Brands and factory owners seem to be nonchalant about the safety and well being of the garment workers who certainly deserve every right to a fair wage, decent working condition and minimal dignity.


I am pleased to see that pressure on global fashion brands to become more transparent is working when they are asked to publicly acknowledge the people behind the scene who make our clothes, and you may see the latest report on the Fashion Revolution website. I urge our fashion consumers to look at fashion in a different way and to be part of the change of this culture of excess and buy only as needed and have meaning, things that are available and affordable and doesn't come at the cost of people or our planet.


Thanks to the instigation of Fashion Revolution, the latest global movement which raise awareness about the conditions in which our clothes are produced and that we are buying in huge quantities, only to be discarded as trash within weeks. It is our duties to put a stop to the social and environmental catastrophes in our fashion supply chains. Fashion is now produced as trends, rolling blocks of as little as 3 week lead times. The fashion giants and business magnate benefit from the fast fashion industry while we, as consumers, have to do well to keep up with the joness, both financially and physically, without considerin the workers who participate in the manufacturing process and the amount of pollution ensued as a result. 


Would I stop buying clothes? No but only when I absolutely need to and definitely not at the expense of the human and environmental sacrifices associated with it. I don't follow the pace fashion giants dictate and I am taking the slow and steady route, appreciating the skills, the time and efforts people have contributed in the process from sourcing to final production.


Here are some of my personal epiphanies from participating in the many workshops, film screenings and panel discussions on the subject of sustainable fashion:

• always go for clothes made out of organic cotton, silk and recycled fabric

• high fashion = sustainable fashion

• make sure the clothes that I buy don't come at the cost of people or the planet

• consider the cost per wear and make your investment work hard by wearing them again and again

• think of the current status of the landfill before buying / dumping

• buy less and buy better (if at all)

• take a stand against disposable fashion, impulse buys and fast fashion fixes

• rather than buying anything new, fall back in love with the things I already own

• look after your clothes to extend their lease of life

"Buy less, choose well, make it last." ~ Vivienne Westwood