How OLD are you?

Have you checked out all those blogs rampantly posted by senior style icons lately? There is a growing movement among the mature fashionistas who are embracing older beauty. Each of these women own her signature style, they are tech savvy and above all, stylish and authentic. I can't help but admire their boldness and playfulness, refusing to be ignored and remained invisible in the mainstream media while addressing 'ageism' from a whole new perspective.

Who says style and beauty are exclusive to only the young? And how do you define someone being 'young' anyway? It is all relative! Age is an attitude and style has no expiration date affixed to it. The term 'age-appropriateness' is just a convenient way of saying that women of a certain age should not be wearing certain styles because they are too old to be sexy, and that there is presumably a need to cover up their sagging bodies. A girl in her 20s who doesn't know her body and how to dress, follows trend and happy to be a sheep in the herd is no better than a mannequin without a sense of self-worth, whereas a woman can age in a way that is totally graceful, cool and beautiful. She knows who she is and is not afraid to show her essence to the world, expressing herself in wearing fashion her unique way with confidence.

What is it about ageing to be scared of? Well, the culprit is what we as a society has built around ageing which is mostly negative stereotyping prejudices, not dissimilar to those surrounding racism or gender inequality. Check out the classified section in the paper and you will see job ads that want to hire a 'recent college graduate' or a 'digital native', implying that older people need not apply. This is discrimination at its peak. The overuse of adjectives such as 'adorable' and 'cute' on older people is simply disrespectful. And what is so funny about older people having / not having sex (anyone for privacy?)and having episodes of hot flashes (which is a part of natural progression) and being tech illiterate (it's a matter of choice and individual interests in how deep you wish to be involved with the latest gadgets)? 

No one likes being patronised but the tone of voice we use on an older person could sound demeaning. Ignoring the older patient in favour of speaking to the adult child in company is absolutely humiliating. Similarly the choice of vocabulary to describe an older person could be downright hurtful especially with terms like 'old bag', 'crone', and 'broad'. 

If you pay any attention to the various media, women over 50 are now being chosen and celebrated for major ad campaigns, on TV and in movies. They are proofs that there is absolutely no reason why older women can't look fabulous and contemporary. The population of people over 50 is on the rise and it is only wise to acknowledge the reality and support the 'senior' who are dominating the human population big time. I remember when I was in my early 20s that the idea of becoming an old bag at the age of 30 was not going to happen to me. I could have never prepared myself for that. Now that I am in my mid forties, I am considered young by those who are in their 60s , with the energy befitting a teenager. 

Beauty is no longer about hormones and the number of candles on the birthday cake, it is about who the person really is. Nothing else matters.

How to declutter your pad?

Hi everyone,

I am back after a LONG break from my Newsletter 'Simple Living & Lifestyle Musings', which I shall have them transferred to this site soon. Having been through a helluva roller coaster ride since our last encounter, I decided to share my fresh perspectives on the subject of simplicity and minimalism once again, starting today, here in this blog with better content and I invite you to join me on this journey of a mindful life of experience. 

As we are 9 days into the new year (yes already!), and Spring cleaning is approaching at full speed, I'd like to quickly touch on the topic of decluttering your home, suggesting ways to make your pad clutter-free without much drama. Are you ready?

Rather than tackling your home in one go (which is not realistically possible), give yourself a time frame (say 15-30 minutes a day) or deal with just one area at a time. Start with the easiest and maybe the smallest zone to build momentum. As you go through the clutter, have a trash bag or carton box handy where you can ruthlessly dump items which you haven't used or remember having. You can always go back afterwards for reviewing (which I don't recommend) as these items could be donated or given away. I don't advocate throwing away items which end up at the landfill and I do believe whatever you trash could be someone else's treasure. Make sure you find a place for each item you decided to keep during the process of decluttering and that you return the item to its place every time you finish with it.

I am a bit of a freak when it comes to organising and tidiness. I like clean surfaces and knowing where everything is which is totally do-able when you make a habit of it. As I don't get that many snail mail except for promotional leaflets and catalogues, I have almost unsubscribed everything to reduce paper waste and getting my inbox to zero email at the end of the day is so so satisfying. Instead of cleaning the pots and pans after meals, I do it while waiting for the food to be cooked. Another way to beat procrastination is to finish small jobs as you encounter them throughout the day. Take the trash out when the bin is full, put your laundry into the washer, wipe your dining table and kitchen top after meals. Put your extra shampoo and moisturiser in the cabinet instead of leaving them on the shower caddy. (I don't recommend buying toiletries in bulk in the first place but then again it is hard to resist the temptation of a discounted bundle or items on sale).

Personally, 'a place for everything and everything in its place' is my mantra to stay organised. Let me know what you do to maintain a clutter-free home!

Clouds of Sils Maria

The ageing cycle begins the second we draw our first breath out of the mother's womb. The promise of ageing, illness and death is already set in motion whether we like it or not. We grow, change, and evolve constantly without paying much attention to the process and in the blink of an eye, decades flew by and we no longer enjoy looking into the mirror, seeing a stranger looming in the reflection who is no longer attractive and pretty, at least nothing like what we remember the way we were in our prime years.

I watched the DVD 'Clouds of Sils Maria' the other day and I couldn't help but resonated with the protagonist Maria Enders played by Juliette Binoche. Asked to play a role in a play which brought her fame 20 years ago, only in a character as a much older woman, Maria came to face head on her gremlin, an unsettling reflection of herself as the boss who ended up killing herself in the play. I can see myself as Maria, reluctant to accept the harsh reality of life, a torment which is only too much to bear especially when a much younger actress was chosen to play her old role as the alluring young girl in juxtaposition.

Why is it so heartbreaking to accept ageing which is part of the natural landscape of life? People have been trying to 'preserve' themselves with botox and plastic surgery, fighting against the onslaught of this ugly predicament so called ageing. The beauty industry has never been more prolific when million of dollars are raked from those who refuse to look 'less than', believing that there is indeed a secret to the fountain of youth if they are willing to pay. It has taken me years to make peace with my ageing mind and body. And that is totally liberating!

Fighting against ageing is just futile. Get real. Time is marching forward regardless. We don't think the same way we did 20 years ago as we are now much wiser and know better. The machine which we called our bodies are wearing out at different pace and no amount of exercise or quality food is going to reverse or stop that process of declining. Yet it is not true that life goes out at 40 or 50 and beyond, as long as you make adjustments and make new choices. Instead of showing off everything only being youthful can offer, I can now look at myself in the unforgiving mirror and be proud of myself for who I am,  expressing my values, personality and point of view without a care. It is a presence larger than life and it is ageless. 

There is no point picking on ourselves, digging up old wounds and comparing ourselves to false ideals (which are never true in the first place). My suggestion is to honor yourself for becoming the woman you are at this point in time. This is probably the best age-defying mechanism you can get (and for free too). 

You are what you wear: Christina Dean at TEDxHKBU

Are you suffering from Decision Fatigue?

I was going through my wardrobe the other day trying to squeeze a slot for my new purchase when I decided to take a good look at what is lurking in there and to remind myself what not to buy in the near future. I don't like repeats and I always regret bringing home something I thought doesn't exist in my tiny universe but end up coming to terms with something similar hanging in there with the price tag intact. Could this be the beginning of Alzheimer? Anyway, I sort them into 2 piles: the casual and the going out piles. Then for each pile, I make a note of the colours and types of clothings I have and find out what colours of my seasons are missing in black and white. I suggest everyone with a wardrobe take inventory every 3 months to avoid impulse purchases or duplications.

As you would have known if you follow my posts, I am diagnosed with diabetes which means a large part of my days are spent on meal planning, portion control, counting carbs and of course shopping at supermarkets. I understand I have limited energy so I'd rather invest my brain cells on creating and adapting to my new diet and lifestyle than trying to work out what to wear everyday. It is just too much! Not that I don't care about my appearance but any kind of decision-making (big or small) is taxing on the nerves. I just have better things to worry about than clothes at this stage. By taking stock of what I have already got, I can pare down decisions. All of my favourite garments are neatly hanged up in front of me and my memory of different outfits put together in the past is all in prints I can refer to anytime, I no longer have to suffer from decision fatigue / mental exhaustion. To be honest, thinking of what to eat or what to wear is stressful. I am already driving myself nuts trying to control my blood glucose level through a new diet so having outfits already created, tried and tested, is indeed liberating and mind-freeing!

Are you concerned about being seen wearing something 2 days in a row? Tell me who on earth put their jeans or sweater or scarf into the wash after wearing it once. Being a person who likes to be prepared 'just in case'? I can  always buy what I really need when the need arises. And to be brutally honest, no one really cares what you wear on a daily basis. What makes you think that you are the centre of the earth when everyone lives in their tiny bubble and have better concerns than looking at you? And even if you get unsolicited comments from others, what they think is none of your business and it is their problem if they don't like it. Remember you are not a paid model walking down runways for the sake of marketing the latest design, you decide on your own personal style which reflects your needs and your lifestyle. 

I personally find that a smaller wardrobe i.e. having fewer choices is better as far as decision-making is concerned and I tend to get my creativity juice running too when options are limited. Enough is enough you know, as long as you have your basic essentials covered and be daring to mix and match, you get so much more than bringing Zara home.

Let me know how you are getting on after trying the above.

The link between cooking and vanity shopping

Following up on my last post, I am happy to say that my sugar level is under control and I am taking fewer insulin shots compared to the very beginning. 

Yes, my diet has changed 360 degree...which means multiple meals with small portions, no dessert of any kind, everything I put into my mouth is either whole wheat or multigrain, checking the food labels before chucking them into my trolley, no dining out which means cooking for myself, which is probably the toughest part as I hardly spend longer than 10 minutes in the kitchen before only 6 weeks ago.

So food, meal planning and eating at regular hours, not to mention the cooking part take up most of my time and energy. I can spend hours reading up on diabetes, checking out quick and easy recipes which don't require too much preparation or ingredients, and frequenting the supermarket multiple times a week as the kind of food that I am now buying have a short period of shelf / fridge life (no more processed / ready cooked meals on the go). On top of that, there is only me and cooking for one person isn't the easiest thing to master! 

Cooking isn't at all fun for the undomesticated but it has gotten me to think differently about food and its impact on myself and the world at large. I am more intentional about where the food comes from, the process involved in cooking and the mileage it takes to ship them. I eat what I cook and considering what effort I am putting into the preparation and the actual cooking, without the salt and sugar and fat, I am eating a much healthier diet which cannot be bought at fast food corporations. 

Meanwhile, I am eating less (per meal) as a portion control and for the fact that the dishes I come up with taste a bit bland and lack of variety. What do I expect from following the recipe to the T when I have problem figuring out the different buttons on the stove! It is going to take a while before my taste buds acclimatize to food 'sans' condiment. I am sure I will get better at it with practice. I might have to take some cooking lessons before I am confident enough to invite my friends over. It is a lot of work to be honest but having more control over what I am eating is worthy of it. 

And if you have read this far, thank you for being so patient with me as I am about to explain how this is related to fashion. 

There is always some kind o sales going on at different outlets throughout the year and to me, should you allow excessive consumerism to take the lead, you would be dished out garments with a reduction price tag which you believe to be a bargain not to be missed. Similar to living on processed food, you are stuffing up yourself with 'unwanted' items to fill the little gap there is in your cluttered wardrobe. 
By knowing your best colours and style, together with your personality and preference, you get to decide what to buy and what not; which is not so different from cooking at home using only the fresh ingredients and controlling the flavour to match your needs. With a shopping plan at hand, you are in charge of the game and saying no to what you don't need is indeed empowering. Why would you succumb to restaurant food with loads of MSGs when you can make something wholesome and tailored to your senses?

I didn't know any better before my diagnosis and it's just too late to reverse the ailment. Knowing about yourself in terms of colour, style, body shape, the status of your wardrobe and the triggers to your impulsive shopping trips guarantee a large amount of savings, a more workable closet, and more time spending on doing what you really love to be doing. Sounds good doesn't it?

Diabetes has turned my life upside-down...

To be honest, I would never admit being a 'superwoman' even though there seem to be a lot which I have accomplished so far up to this point of my life. Take a quick scan of my CV and you know what I mean. It is just my personality doing the magic; the fact that I am extremely result-oriented, a go-getter, and the fact that my interests have gone amok over the span of the last 20 odd years and creating / producing something is necessary to justify my diversity of interests and hobbies.

Turning 46 wasn't the end of the world until I got diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes last week. The symptoms which I have been experiencing associated with the ailment, not to mention the costs to see an endocrinologist and a dietitian, as well as the insulin shots and oral med, have all turned my otherwise productive days into an absolute nightmare. For someone who doesn't enjoy spending time in the kitchen, I am now racking my brain to come up with a weekly menu to control the glucose and blood pressure. And I am only 46.

Well, I just have to accept that my body is letting me down. I have to accept that I have aged; and along with it there are unprecedented problems and concerns only associated to geriatrics in the past. My cousin died of cancer a few years back and she was my age. Life can be snuffed into non-existence without reasons. The machine is rusting and it is just a matter of time when it stops functioning altogether.I will survive unless I don't. I like to think of my body, the flesh, a vessel through which to move through this so called life. It is a tool not dissimilar to a saw and screwdrivers, a hammer and nuts and bolts, and therefore I don't spend too much time worrying about it. I am not my body!

The diagnosis is hard to swallow and the severe headache from a sudden change of body chemistry is not helping either. Going on a new diet and therefore a new lifestyle isn't easy and so too, is being an individual of fashion. If you get stressed out to have a sense of style, don't do it. Being diabetic has made me stop and realise that I have my limits. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and carry on 'living'; whichever the word means.