Senior Fashionistas

Are you familiar with these senior fashionistas such as Daphne Selfe, Baroness Trumpington, Bridget Sojourner, Sue Kreitzman, and the icons Iris Apfel, Helen Mirren and Judi Dench?  There are so many more in the real world awaiting to be acknowledged and found, if not by Ari Seth Cohen, who brought us a new TV documentary about being fashion-forward and life-affirming. 

I could never imagined myself as 'old' in my prime years when the world was my oyster. Unfortunately the ageing process spares no-one and it could be quite unforgiving to a certain extent. Health concerns, financial restraints. becoming dependent on others (or even a burden) are only a few of the nightmares which only to be triggered by a cold or a nasty fall. It certainly takes a lot of guts and courage to join the party and become a senior with dignity. There is no such thing as security and it is all so easy to give up as we lose our confidence in our body. Our body no longer functions as well, not dissimilar to a machine turned rusty. I am 46, considered to be 'young' among the seniors, but already feeling the challenges which are depressing, a beacon to evaluate my core values and beliefs. I am not a particularly reflective person but after all I have reached a point when I am forced to pause, take a deeper look at who I am and who I will be in my final years. The notion of death doesn't worry me as it will take care of itself.

The senior fashionistas show us that the ageing process doesn't have to be grim. I have been reading about some of them in blogs and news clippings, and there are a few things which I agree with. It is important to know yourself and find your style. I can still look chic without a body of a 20 year-old. I like to stand out so wearing colour is a must. I have never been a slave to trends but stay true to what I believe look good on me. I invest a lot on my bags and shoes, avoiding heels at all costs. I am constantly learning, which suits my scanner personality to the T. I am always working and retirement is not in my dictionary. I am still taking risks but more calculated these days. I like to be bold in the way I dress and the way I live. There is no reason to play small. Ideally I want to age gracefully without the botox and any surgery. Death is looming but I understand there is no point of thinking about it as it can happen so suddenly. 

Of course there are some of the things which I can't seem to care enough in the process of ageing. I have yet to find a role model whom I can adopt. I still haven't learnt the art of sewing and dress-making (or alteration for that matter) which is important for anyone into fashion. I must admit I find the young people rather annoying instead of inspiring, which is probably jealousy playing up on my psyche. I have no motivation to exercise or watching my diet at this point. I need to be more curious before I give up on life in its entirety. I can't say I love life but I do exist; as my old soul is telling me that nothing excites me anymore. It is hard not to think of my age when all I can see are families and friends ageing before my eyes. I can't lie to myself and pretend everything is pretty, can I?

To be frank, I have never been interested in fashion and I only flip through fashion magazines at the GP's office. My decision to be a Personal Stylist has changed everything and at midlife, my personal style has evolved with age. My skills and knowledge from the training certainly help but it has open my eyes to the fashion world with a new perspective never known to me before. Fashion is so much harder on women as they age as opposed to men but being a Personal Stylist, I can help older women to be visible again, if not head turning. I have been getting compliments lately about how I am looking younger everyday, thanks to my training, I know who I am and what suits me. I might be one of them who age into my beauty! 

As a Personal Stylist, I want to help older women to style themselves and not give up. I want them to feel good in their own skin. I want my clients to go through their days with determination and new found enthusiasm. It is important to engage the world with their aesthetics, wit, and honesty, be bold about it and refuse to apologize. I want to see the confidence seeping out of their pores in every way they present themselves. Like Apfel who refuses to be ignored and bullied out of fashion, I think it is mandatory to use our time to define ourselves, to maintain our sense of style, and to express our personality through our uniqueness. I too would like to be one of the senior citizens who look and feel good about themselves everyday, who actively participate in society and who is timeless. 

I would highly recommend the book 'Fashion and age' for those who are interested in diving a bit deeper in this subject. 

What are your thoughts on ageing and fashion?

How does age influence your choice of garments?

Why do you think women tone down their style as they age?

Share your opinions!

Social Madness

Summer has arrived much earlier than expected and here I am, sweating like a pig in Hong Kong, trying to get my name out for my small business as a Personal Stylist. I was a social butterfly 2 decades back but I become more withdrawn and introverted as I get older. I only possess my first android phone (it's actually a tab as I need a bigger screen to see clearly) in Nov last year and social media is definitely not my thing before then. I do agree that technological advancement has its perks and they are air out of water for many, I personally don't rely on it much unless it is work related.

For the past few months, I have been pushing myself out of my comfort zone trying my hands on using different social media platforms for marketing my business www.style-proud.com, a consultancy business where I offer colour analysis, style consultation, wardrobe management and personal shopping to women who wish to be beautiful everyday. Having a very limited budget and without a network of friends, I must resort to using Facebook and Twitter (minimum) to gain exposure in the virtual world. I have also used about.me, vertical response for email marketing, and considering other ways of selling both my products and services. Gosh, that is a lot of work involved in front of my screen and to make the process even more off-putting, there is an incessant amount of email coming into my inbox raving about the new / latest applications which they are convincing me to have, and that is overwhelming for someone like me who prefers a better use of time than installing apps and gadgets.

Meanwhile, I have been contacting potential businesses to work in collaboration, going to a lot of bazaars and fairs to network, and contemplating about joining some organizations for an annual fee to widen my social circle. I also have a few appointments in the coming weeks lined up for a tour of work spaces at a reasonable monthly fee. Who says it's easy to start-up? Hence, before I get to the stage of burning out, I must take a long hard look at the way I work on my business, participating in events of priorities, cut out the social situations which require me to spend money and unworthy of my effort of travelling in the scorching heat.

I know deep in my heart that partnering up with people of similar interests and values is paramount to my success. My target clients are those who sincerely want to build up their confidence through the way they dress everyday, who are willing to pay to get themselves organised, and to feel good in their own skin by acknowledging themselves as beautiful. I am constantly upgrading myself with knowledge in my field from 'experts' on a daily basis as there is so much that I don't know the more I delve in the subject of fashion / style which is my passion for the time being. Hence I am taking e-courses and reading power blogs to becoming better at what I do everyday. Yes, it takes a lot of curiosity, self-motivation and self-discipline but when you are working on something you love, it is not even an issue to worry about. Do I miss teaching? No and it is actually one of the reasons I decided to pursue my new career path of an Image Consultant. My 12 years of teaching has taken a toll on me and changing life direction seems to be right thing to do if I follow my heart.

Make-up, no make-up, or a no make-up make-up?

I stopped wearing make-up in my 3rd year of university. I was really pretty then, and young, and I had such confidence that I could still look pretty without painting on my face. And I was right about that. I was photogenic and the whole idea of wearing make-up to me was simply unnecessary. Mind you I spent a fortune on my skin care products instead of cosmetic though. And 25 years later I am still make-up free but I can see signs of aging on my face (and body) these days which are not pretty at all. Is it because my confidence level has dropped or is it about time to visit the cosmetic counter for some colours and grooming?

It is not easy to be a celebrity. The medical breakthrough has helped models and celebs to keep up their looks but at a cost too huge to bear. Take a look at the new Bridget Jones and Meg Ryan for instance, who are they kidding after the make-over / plastic surgery? It is high maintenance and just impractical to say the least. Why can't we all accept aging as a natural progress and thus age gracefully like Susan Sarandon and Meryl Streep? 

I believe there are underlying reasons for those who decide on taking drastic measures in their appearance. A loss of identity, lacking of security, low self confidence, and possibly a fear of abandonment. Do I miss my old self when I was all pretty and attractive? Do I miss being the centre of attention wherever I go? Hell yes I do but there is no way I would pay to have my face or body parts altered. The results aren't just worth it! Am I going to be 20 again in reality? Will I ever relive my past experiences? No. I am 46. Period.

I want to look my age. I want to look stylish too. Having my colours done and a style consultation have put my mind to rest figuratively speaking (and that is the trigger to my pursuing the profession of an Image Consultant). I know what my best colours are and what my preferred style is based on my personality and body shape, as well as my budget and occupation, I can now create outfits at a blink of an eye and shopping is no longer a go-to hobby. As for my face, I would always prefer to go bare but my moisturiser but my job requires presenting my best self so I spent my birthday (in March) at the Bobbi Brown counter stocking up my essentials. It is like learning how to walk again after a stroke and the myriad of products / techniques of application is just overwhelming. It will take me a while and some serious practise but it will become a habit once I accept my new look.

Timing is another thing. The introduction of no make-up make up is spreading like wild fire in the fashion scene. A low maintenance luxe is not only relegated to 2o year olds. I like the idea of natural make-up. My skin care regime includes exfoliating 3X a week (in general), cleansing in the morning and before bed, and toner immediately after to minimise the pores. Moisturiser is a must on clean face. I would always go for products of quality, either organic or with essential oil as part of the compositions. Here are a few brands I personally recommend:

Aesop

In Essence milk cleanser

Neal's Yard Remedies

The body shop-Vitamin C range

Ivory soap
Keratase (the red series for coloured hair)

As a matter of fact, I always have different products stand by on my shower caddy. I get to decide on which products to use on the day according to the weather to suit the needs of my skin. Spring is the season when I need to be more flexible in my beauty routine especially in a city like Hong Kong, with such a high humidity and unstable weather, my skin knows what it requires and I have to be super careful especially when I am stuck in air conditioned environments most of the time.

And who says it is easy to be a woman? 

Newness is a myth!

It seems that everyone wants something new at different points in time. A new dress for a date, a new handbag to match with the new pair of Jimmy Choo, a new hair style after splitting up with a boyfriend, etc...so newness equates a brand new start, a new beginning to a more satisfying life in the immediate future, or simply a sign of reward to ourselves having overcome an obstacle without the guilt.

To me, it is just an excuse to splurge on something we want (not need), as if the new whatever is going to sort everything out and everything will be okay after we make the purchase. How ridiculous is that? What separates something new from old is that the former is still sitting in the shop, sealed and folded in the stock room and that it becomes old the minute it is paid for and placed in a bag with the shop logo nicely engraved on it. Have you ever wondered why some of these items have the price tag still on them after taking up space in your wardrobe and usually forgotten?

An individual item, be it a top, a jacket, a dress or a scarf, is not new until an outfit is created with it. I could be wearing a pair of old jeans, combined with a great top and a vintage jacket I found in a charity shop and the look is new to me and to the world. Shopping your wardrobe could be the key to creating something new without spending a dollar. A new jacket won't be 'new' if the colour clashes with the rest of the ensemble, and a pair of trousers which fail to flatten my body shape can't be 'new'. Talking about a fresh start...

It's that time again when a new season means a new wardrobe to some. Would you consider shopping your closet this season instead of the stores? I am not saying you can't buy anything new to add to your wardrobe but I hope they are something you didn't already have in your existing wardrobe, not duplicates or anything similar. Don't use 'new' things to self-medicate, to cover up or to forget. Deal with the problem or situation in a civilised way and shop consciously the next time you have the urge to splurge.

Ageless Beauty

Aging begins the second you were born.

You must be dead if you don’t age.

Theoretically it makes sense but why is it so difficult to accept that in reality?

Some might even bail out by committing suicide in midlife to avoid the irreversible aging process.

I could very well be one of them who take the extreme measure. Read on to find out why…

It is not about the number and I am explicitly unabashed of revealing my age to anyone who asks. My concern is that I am single, with no siblings and live alone, I am terrified by all the physical ailments that show up when I am no longer fit enough to do things or go traveling. I definitely don’t want to live like a handicapped having to rely on others just because.

The official age for retirement is around 60-65 but the statistics tell us otherwise. We human never really ‘retire’ as long as we keep learning, being interested in life, and growing in mental attainments. I can’t stress enough how my desire to try out different personal interests keeps me out of the pitfall of self-destruction. Starting style-proud is one of the many ways to stretch my comfort zone, be 100% focused on my midlife career, and of course to help others to be their best authentic selves both on a physical and intellectual level.

I can’t imagine not learning something new everyday. In fact, I haven’t stopped learning since after graduation from university and it is not surprising for someone who is a typical scanner. From nutrition to public relations, from aromatherapy to writing, and now personal styling, I have been acquiring new knowledge everyday, and that I believe is what keeps me going most of the time when life seems too hard.

Embarking on this new phase of mine as a personal stylist is not surrendipity. I used to be so pretty and attractive in my twenties and for 15 years I have been telling myself that it was history and that I should forget about the good old days when I was the centre of attention wherever I happened to be. I believed that it wasn’t possible to be pretty again as I put on so much weights from taking steroids or that I could age with grace. Inspired by the photos and movies which show women of timeless beauty in their 60’s such as Coco Chanel and Edith Piaf, I decided to be the gorgeous woman I could be as I age and at the same time, help others who are lacking the self-esteem and confidence to be the woman they truly are, with or without make-up. Botox is out of the question. Nothing could be more attractive than being simply you.

By becoming a personal stylist, I get to know myself on a much deeper level. Change is a constant of growing older and I can see that I went through some pretty dramatic phases so far in my 40 odd years of living. Some of the changes are manifested in the way I see myself and hence the way I dress. My personal style has evolved quite significantly over the decades as it is reflected in the content of my wardrobe. My appearance is vital in expressing myself visually, and it is indeed empowering when I am comfortable in my own skin. Self-confidence is one of the main ingredients to being extraordinarily beautiful. I want to help my clients to embrace themselves for who they are too by being more confident and feeling good.

Beauty is not about being young and trendy. It is about confidence and self-assurance. This is what I wish to see in my clients who choose to be beautiful everyday. We have developed over the decades a wealth of knowledge and experience, and by knowing what suit us and how to achieve that, we can be comfortable in our own skin and that is beauty.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.” ~ Sophia Loren