Fashion stylist vs Personal stylist

I have been asked a gazillion times over what exactly I do as a Personal Stylist; and whether I work for celebrities and the likes. Hence I wish to clarify once and for all and tell the difference between a Fashion Stylist and a Personal Stylist, in the hope of a better understanding of the roles played by respective parties.

A Fashion Stylist is someone who works with models, celebrities, bigwigs, fashion designers, photographers, creative directors and editors in the 'glamorous' fashion world. She is responsible for creating style plans for high-profile clients and for filming, who knows how to draw and illustrate her concepts to the team members with whom meetings are held frequently and at a spur of the moment. If you work for a celebrity, you are adjusting your time to his / her schedule. 

By choosing to become a certified Personal Stylist, I have a much 'easier' life than the former. First off, my clients work with my schedule which means I have absolute control of my time and whereabouts. I get to reach out and meet more 'regular' people (women in my case) which are the majority of the populations after all. With personal shopping as part of my services, I get to source and turn my office into a swanky boutique where I sell the unique pieces which I bought with my clients in mind. I also get to be an entrepreneur too as I build my image consultancy business from scratch, learning and failing along the way. 

I am not interested in high fashion or celebrity styling but to help women developing their personal style and looking great. I am more interested in colour combination, and the psychology of it, revamping wardrobes for women who have too much but nothing to wear, and holding their hands during our shopping appointments when my clients only buy what they need and what suit them. It is about saving time and money in the long term when you no longer spend on clothing which ends up hanging in the closet and long forgotten. Above all, I get the best satisfaction when my clients learn their best colours, their style personalities and hopefully be more interested in sustainable fashion as opposed to fast fashion. 

So which one of the two careers would you choose?

shopping faux pas

In retrospect, I came to realise the culprit of my uncontrollable shopping habit to be my OBSESSION(s). I have a diversity of interests ( a scanner) and being a perfectionist, I like to see myself master something within a relatively short period of time so that I can move on to the next thing on my list. Being unaware of my obsession has brought about numerous impulse purchases and I have boxes and boxes of 'stuff' hoarded in my tiny living space gathering dusts to show for it. Either I am not keeping pace with the learning curve or I have simply bought too much without much thinking.



I have no intention of getting rid of them mainly because I have hopes of using them in the near future; never mind the investment made upfront. I have fantasies of a life when I will be using the 'tools' to support  and justify that lifestyle which might never manifest. What makes me think at the outset that I could be an expert in everything that appeals to me even just for a second only if I have the right tools and stuff in my arsenal?



It is literally impossible to be a pro in everything within the span of our lives. Let's stop buying things for a future lifestyle and just get on with what life presents us at this very moment. 




Similarly, why do we waste money (and time) on clothing that we don't wear? I swear there are bound to be at least a few pieces with tags still on lurking behind your wardrobe space. Here are the most common reasons which are by no means exhaustive to ruminate upon:

• it was on sale and you didn't want to miss out on such a 'bargain' (but does it go with anything in your wardrobe?)
• it was a designer label item which you believe would elevate your status quo if you own it (double bonus if it was on sale too) and to fit in
• you imagine your future self (self-deception) / lifestyle that may never exist and it is just a fantasy after all
• you simply love something too much to risk spoiling it (with spaghetti sauce?) and therefore save it for a 'worthy' occasion
• you shop under the influence of drug / alchohol, or when you are depressed 
• it doesn't fit properly even though you love the look and feel of it
• you copy others' style which isn't yours
• you follow and combine too many trends at once 
• not having a 'go-to' outfit on hand when you can't decide what to wear
• unaware of how your body has changed over the years

As we evolve from the historical times when foraging for food and shelter were the absolute necessity for survival, the trait seems to carry forward to the shops, firmly believe that owning something new would solve most of the problems.

As a Personal Stylist who is proud of my style, here are some tips of smart shopping I wish to share with you:

• first thing first, be authentic. Ask yourself if the item is compatible to your lifestyle, when you are going to wear it and how you will wear it.
• stick to a colour palette and mix and match with a handful of separates (a Personal Stylist can help!)
• always shop your own closet first and play with what is already existing for different looks and levels of refinement
• do not fall into the trap of  'season must-haves'; adapt your look to your own style instead
• be aware of what to accentuate and what to conceal whenever you try something on
• get comfortable with what suits you and what you stand for
• get your garments altered can make or break an outfit
• never buy things which are nonreturnable (or wait it out for a week or so before you make that purchase)

I hope you won't make the same mistakes again in your next shopping spree and be happy with everything you buy and wear them as frequently as possible to make them worthwhile!

Marketing...is not rocket science!

I had never understood the discipline of marketing when my old friends picked it as their major at university until NOW. It's all about psychology really as it is the strategies people use to make money out of consumers who don't know better! We live in a world filled with 'empty'  consumeristic promises which we buy into unfortunately, being constantly bombarded with messages which shape our mindset both consciously and subconsciously, and we end up looking for material stuff we never need in the first place. What if we all ask ourselves the question: what will happen if I don't buy it? before parting our money or credit card? 

I must admit I have come a long way from being a hardcore shopaholic to a minimalist (in progress). I pride myself walking out of the mall unscathed these days, thanks to my training as a personal stylist and my inclination towards second hand shopping. I am becoming more waste conscious and I find that the 'need' can more often than not be deferred and I usually forget what I thought I needed soon after I walk out the shop. It is crucial to differentiate needs and wants and make it a habit to ask yourself the question above.

Thanks to my knowledge about colour and style, I can always create a stylish and contemporary outfit from my existing pieces without resorting to buying something new to keep up with the latest trends. I can now stop buying  and spending and having a wardrobe of clothings that I love, which makes choosing what to wear in the morning effortless. Of course my job as an Image Consultant requires keeping myself up-to-date with trends which I read about in magazines, but I have literally unsubscribed from most email promotions and deleted my online shopping accounts except Amazon (which I use for books and CDs which I can't find in Hong Kong). Instead of buying a new piece of garment, I spend my money on a new hairstyle or colour, or a lipstick to update my look.

The purpose of marketing is to convince us that we can have anything we want by making the purchase, to buy a better version of ourselves based on our beliefs that we are not good enough; which is absolute bullshit to start with. Why should we consent the corporate giants to decide for us what we need and how faulty we are? Rather than being lured into the trap, make do with what you already have, knowing full well that we can never buy a better version of ourselves because we are simply enough.

From my own observation, people who have the extra money to spend tend to lose control of their preferences. Their choices are mostly dictated by others who have something to gain from the sale. They strongly believe that anything more expensive (by comparison) is always better in every way but in fact it is pricey because it is more expensive to produce. Do you make choices which is authentically yours or those of the salespeople? Are you manipulated by all the glossy images and promises circulating around incessantly preying on your vulnerability?

Accept what IS and get over it YOUR WAY!

How many phases exactly does a woman go through during her lifetime, assuming she is still sound and kicking at 70? I made a fuss about turning 30 with my first tattoo, I changed career at 45 and become a Personal Stylist, I am about to do something drastic in a couple of years to celebrate my existence for half of a century...but there is no denying that we are all getting old-er, regardless of how much we spend on botox, tummy tucks or youth regenerating skincare. There is no going back, period. It is not a concept I can easily accept but maybe I can make the process a tiny bit more bearable by changing my mindset and adopt a different lifestyle???

• be more in tune with the natural surrounding: easier said than done considering I am based in HK so getting out of this concrete jungle for a sabbatical at least once a year is crucial to my physical and mental  wellbeing
• hydration is king: I always have my refill tumbler in my bag wherever I go and lots of green tea during the day
• stay calm and de-stressed as much as possible: nothing really is worth sweating about if you look at the bigger picture
• keep learning: I am currently addicted to crossword puzzles which I find so so challenging for someone who loves words; and I come to realise there is so much I don't know!
• keep up with technology: not something I am particularly interested in but there might be something that make my life easier...the Moleskine Smart Pen set I bought for my birthday is kinda fun!
• seek inspiration: from magazines, books, movies, exhibitions, networking events even just to get ideas and to stay current
• no one is an authority: mine is just one of the many ways of doing things so don't claim to be an expert in anything! No-body knows it all!
• get out of your comfort zone once in a while (or more frequently): I am willing to try anything new to boost my business...podcasting, video on Youtube, etc...
• the older I get with every birthday, the more I learn to recognise my faults. I admit having messed up and I am not proud of it
• I have found the most important qualities to have are: being flexible and resilient...nothing is set in stone and I am trying to get over unpleasant experiences as quickly as possible
• hobbies are life-savers and I have quite a variety of them at different times of needs: cross-stitch, writing, crossword, reading, and more
• be more selective in the kind of jobs to take and people to spend time with to minimise the chance of resentment later on
• downsizing is the key: I am a minimalist in progress and I am writing about it in my newsletters / blogs
• the world doesn't revolve around any of us! DO get this! 
• It is okay to re-invent yourself many times over after midlife...I 'am' an English teacher, a personal stylist, a writer, and who knows what in the near future???
• I don't care about what others think...in fact I never do.
• I don't get out of my way to get someone's attention. I don't 'buy' companion or friendship for that matter either
• And there are things I don't mind paying a little extra for at this age: extra legroom / space when I travel, decent hotel accommodation, quality food (preferably organic), quality and workable skin-care products, and anything that might help with my business moving forward

I am sure there are plenty more to go on as the days pass so keep an eye out for my next installment of my ageing journey!

Cheers,

Rosa

Happy Birthday to MOI

I turn 48 today and surprisingly I don't feel as upsetting as I did in the past. I suppose I have learnt to accept ageing as it is, a natural progression as human beings are designed to spend quite some time not being young until our last breath. It has not been easy especially for someone who has accomplished a lot in her prime years and life was indeed utopia before 30. Am I where I thought I would be? I couldn't even start to imagine having lived (or existed) for almost half a century and still in one piece up to this moment, and what did I expect my life to be at this ripe age? No idea whatsoever but:

I no longer get asked for ID when I check in a casino.

I have a few pairs of reading glasses of different prescriptions.

I am using anti-ageing skincare products.

I think everyone else younger than me is young.

I need help from the millenials with anything technical.

I purchase 'The Internet for Dummies' series to learn about the latest technology.

I find the chat lingos and smileys downright annoying.

I don't like what I see naked in the mirror.

I need cushions for neck and back support.

As a minimalist in progress, I have come to acknowledge that nothing is permanent. NOTHING. You can't take anything with you when you pass on. Everything is a leasehold so I don't see the point of investing in a house or a car, which are only additional things you get attached to. From being someone with pretty sound health to one who is taking 20+ different types of medication for different ailments, I believe our health affect every simple living goal we ever have, reminding myself to travel as much as I physically can before it's too late. The older I get, the more I become intolerant to people wasting my time, sucking the life out of me with horseshit, work that is meaningless but a means to pay the bills. Un-friending people is now a way of life without the feeling of being a bitch and ungrateful.

I must confess I had the best moments of my work life teaching English for 12+ years until I decided to change career (at 45) and became a certified Personal Stylist over 2 years ago. Although it was the most rewarding and satisfying experience seeing major improvements in my students, it was nevertheless draining and exhausting and I just couldn't see myself teaching grammar and sentence structure for the rest of my life. I wanted to interact with adults, women who I can bond and share experiences with.  I have always had an eye  in fashion and style and considering there is a market for Image Consultants for women who are desperate about their appearance, entrepreneurship followed suite.

'We get too soon old and too late smart.' ¬proverb

I am a bit of a workaholic and the concept of retirement is foreign to me. I hope the effort I put into my business would bring me similar satisfactions and appreciations from women of all sizes and shapes. Why do I get into this business? I have what it takes to be a professional Personal Stylist. Why do I unapologetically market myself and my services? To make myself visible to women who need my knowledge and expertise to help them looking beautiful 24/7 without the headache. Why do I want to provide my services to these women? To make the art of dressing a whole lot easier and fun. Why is it important to those who need my help? To become confident and start loving themselves again, not to mention the saving of time and money in the long run when they are not buying things which they later regret.

So, as part of my birthday celebration, I am offering a 15% discount on all my service packages plus all items selling at my online boutique until the end of March. 

www.style-proud.com

www.carousell.com/rosayourpersonalstylist

Email me at wellbeing@netivgator.com to book your appointment now!

Bon Anniversaire pour moi!

Happy International Women's Day!

To celebrate yet another International Women's Day, I have decided to share my personal opinion on the subject of gender parity my way; without expecting any applause or disagreement whatsoever. I am not a cosmetic person but it doesn't mean I don't adore how some women present themselves with full make-up on on an evening out with friends, looking the part and seem to be having a ball. They could well be solicitors, doctors, neurosurgeons, professors, you know the drill, yet they believe their appearances matter and there is no reason why they can't have them all: brains, equality and lipsticks! Caring about their looks doesn't mean they are dumb and vain! Would they call themselves feminists? I bet they do! 

It takes a wild guess to determine if a woman is  'a feminist' these days. We are all complex individuals who want the same thing: equal pay, right to education, reproductive freedom, sexual autonomy, and the end of discrimination. Who cares if one feminist is a minimalist while another chooses to play barbie doll in the boardroom? The freedom to look however you choose is feminism!!! Have you ever wondered why is it that you don't get to see a lot of older women in the workplace where it is dominated by older men and/ or younger women in influential positions? Why is it that a woman who chooses to be a mother and a wife gets penalised with a lower pay rate and ostracised?

As my ex-boyfriend once said to me that I were no longer a spring chicken, I couldn't help but seeing the harsh reality of life, how we are set apart from the main stream where once we were a part. I am more alone than ever but it is more of my personal choice. Being bullied as a child, living with clinical depression for almost 2 decades, my body suffers from the effects of steroids which I take to control eczema, and more which I don't wish to lament in this post, I have gone a long way and I am proud of myself for coming out still in one piece albeit with scars and wounds.There is no going back nor do I want to but to acknowledge what it has taught me along the way.

Having said that, there are some 'harmless' greetings which are indeed ageist which I wish women my age to stand up to.

• How nice of your______to take you to brunch! (Am I not capable to go out by myself for a treat?)
• Gee, I haven't seen you around lately. Are you okay? (What makes you think I am not?)
• We didn't think you'd want to join us.(Am I so different from you guys that I don't even get invited?)
• Wow, you still surf / have sex? (Is there a law forbidding women to have sex at a certain age?)
• You don't look your age!(What am I supposed to look then?)
• 50 is the new 20!(more an insult than being compassionate)
• Nobody says that anymore...(are u saying I am outdated?)
• You stayed awake until midnight? Good for you! (Can't we have late night parties too?)
• Wow, you still do that? (Why not?)
• What can I get for you, young lady? (damn rude!)
• My grandparents are so adorable / cute / sweet. (older people are not babies or pets)
• She is 50 years young.(Why emphasise on the word 'young'?)
• You are only 50...oh you are not old. (Why emphasise on the word 'only'?)
• You don't look 50 years old. (What does a 50 years old look like?)
• At your age, you are allowed to forget some things! (people get dementia really early these days)
• Wow, you are sharp as a tack! (Is that a surprise?)
• You look good for your age!(Can't you just stop after the first 3 words?)

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!!

How NOT to Buy...

I have been particularly conscious of what I 'buy' whenever I go out i.e. not at home or at work as the display of the shopfront is indeed tempting and I need to exercise my discipline a lot when it comes to something new and pretty i.e. new arrivals on racks, and we are talking about Hong Kong where I am based for the time being. I have found that I'd rather spend my money on quality food and grocery and refuse to enter the mall unless it's pouring and I forget my umbrella. I even write up a list and only go food shopping once or twice a week for my staple. In other words, I don't buy for the sake of buying especially when I have a full closet of clothings which are still tagged from my previous impulse shopping sprees. Not so different from watching TV, shopping helps relieve us of the duty to think and to make for ourselves.  Convenience trumps!

From being a hardcore shopaholic to a reasonable consumer hasn't been easy and I am still a long way from being a minimalist. I admit being a workaholic and thrive on challenges and being productive around the clock. In between work and home, I used to shop like there was no tomorrow but now I tend to read my paperback, do my crossword puzzles and listen to music of my fav artists, not to mention putting a lot of my mental focus on my start-up business. How can you get bored when you have a full plate; none of which costs you more than a coffee sitting in? On the other hand, shopping actually gets boring when there are so many alternatives and I am yet to explore the following:

• brushing up my French, making art, learning how to cook for one, and travelling...things I need to do to keep me busy, happy and satisfied. And shopping doesn't fulfill any of my needs.

Having my wardrobe edited on a regular basis helps a lot. I get to oversee, manage and control when I do this religiously. I am not longer attracted to bargains and fast fashion, as I know myself and what I need as opposed to what I want. With my unique kind of lifestyle, I tend to stock up basics like tees, shirts, jeans and pants, quality underwear and lounge / sleep wear. I read up on trends and follow some fashion bloggers but I never copy their styles. What looks great on a mannequin doesn't means it looks the same on me! I can help if you wish to learn how to edit your wardrobe too. It is my job to show you which cuts of clothings work best for your body type, your best colour palette which lights you up, what kinds of fabrics, prints and patterns harmonise with you, etc...so you too can be your own fashion editor!

I also teach my clients how to shop without feeling overwhelmed and resenting the process and actually wearing what they purchase feeling beautiful inside out. In fact, successful shopping comes down to a process of elimination. I also suggest a seasonal wardrobe management session when you get a second opinion on what to toss and what to keep, and when you manage to see everything you like hanged in your closet, creating outfit combination is a piece of cake. You will find that more options are available once you learn to eliminate the superfluous while holding to you own standards of personal style. 

Yes my shopping habits have been transformed big time and you can too if you follow a few tips I am happy to share:

• Know yourself and exactly what you need; be specific with details
• Open your mind and welcome new brands,; comparing made easy online for new addition
• Shop in person vs online; your eyes could do some rest
• Commit to no impulse buying; identify aspirational pieces and settle for anything less than
• Get a Youiform for your unique body type and be flattered with compliments 24/7

Have fun and good luck!


Rosa is a certified Personal Stylist currently based in Hong Kong. You may contact her via email at wellbeing@netvigator.com and meanwhile check out her website www.style-proud.com!