Inner Confidence (part 2)

Welcome to part 2 of the confidence series. As we looked at outer / physical confidence last week, are you showing yours in the way you move and stand? Have you visited your hair stylist yet for that cut long overdued? Are you spending time grooming yourself? Is your skin glowing? Are you taking time to dress nicely and right for the occasion? Are you moving with elegance? How are you holding your head? Are you standing tall and straight?  Are you being at ease with yourself?

Well, it takes a lot more effort and resolve to build inner confidence. You need to know your strengths and weaknesses. You welcome challenges and leave your comfort zone every now and then. You don't compare yourself to others, care about  their opinions and let setbacks get in your way. Inner confidence is the solid belief in your ability, skills and experience which grows out of self-esteem, the feeling of well-being and acceptance of your body and mind. Let go of all that does not serve you and that includes naysayers and those who don't get you! Embrace the unknown! Take concrete actions and get things done with no excuse! Set small do-able goals! Above all, remain true to you, live your life for you and be proud of who you are. Stop overestimating others and underestimating yourself. Be bold and dare to be different. 

I know. There is always someone else, more to learn and the grass does always seem greener on the other side. But none of these matter!

Inner confidence shows through everything. It speaks louder than your appearance. It is reflected by the way you carry yourself and the way you treat others.

Here are a few questions which help determine if you are a confident person or not:

1. Do you hold high standards for who you allow in your life?
2. Do you recognise and acknowledge yourself and your talents as being unique and valuable?
3. Are you self-reliant and strive to learn new things?
4. Do you recognise that you are already whole without your other half?
5. Do you love and care for yourself no matter what? Remember you are the priority!
6. Are you content with your own self-worth without the need to seek validation from others?
7. Do you walk away from a situation or a relationship where you are not valued or appreciated?

Don't worry if the bulk of your responses is NO. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase your self confidence that lasts. Here are some ways to boost your confidence which work for me:

• Honor your own personality,preferences and passions. When you know who you are, you can see why certain choices appeal to you. When you know who you were made to be, you know what you have to offer. Discover what exactly you want and what makes you happy. Assure yourself that you are enough.
• Know the reason why you are doing what you are doing in the first place. Ditch perfectionism and persevere in what you do with your heart.
• See the bigger picture if in doubt. 
• See yourself as a person on a journey, a work in progress and not as someone trying to measure up.
• See mistakes as exactly what they are, learn from them and move on / forward. Resiliency is the key.
• Drop the phrase: what if
• Add 'but' to negativities (there are 2 sides to the coin!)
• Add a 'yet' to defeating self talk
• Be humble and soak up others' knowledge and experience (and pay it forward when the time comes).
• Be prepared for any challenges which might arise.
• Live your principles, walk your talk.
• Speak slowly and assertively, like a congressman.
• Stop complaining and find a solution.
• Fight and win a bad habit and be proud of your achievement.

And while you are working on it, fake it until you make it with the following suggestions:

• look people straight in the eye and hold their gaze comfortably
• use open hand gestures but keeping it away from your face
• put your arm up as opposed to hugging ourselves
• distribute your weight evenly on both feet

I hope you find this article useful.